Be an enthusiast

Alison Roman by Jai Lennard

A few weeks ago, Twitter was ablaze about Alison Roman – an Instagram-friendly celebrity chef adored by millennials. Roman did an interview where she had a dig at Marie Kondo (for ‘selling out’) and Chrissy Teigen (for running a ‘content farm’). And that was it – the internet exploded.

There’s a lot to unpack about this latest instalment of internet outrage, like whether Roman’s behaviour was racist, but I’ll leave that to other people who do it better. (You can read about it in lots of places.)

This post isn’t directed at Roman – it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. This latest episode merely brought it to the fore.

So today, I want to offer some simple advice to myself, Roman, and perhaps you, too.

Don’t be a dick

I’ve been a dick countless times in my life. Offering snide remarks about other people’s work. Making jokes at other people’s expense. Enjoying snarky little digs on Twitter.

But being a dick is boring. Anyone can do it. It’s too easy, it spreads negativity, and it sucks the joy out of life. It drags everyone down – including yourself.

Being a dick’s also not worth it. When you have a dig at other people, you open yourself up to criticism. When you make a mistake, people will be quick to jump on you – just like people jumped on Alison Roman.

And the cycle continues.

Be an enthusiast

Whenever you’re tempted to be a dick, try being an enthusiast instead. Instead of talking about something you don’t like, talk about something you love.

As Olivia Laing puts it, try ‘To be fundamentally more invested in finding nourishment rather than identifying poison.’

When I go on social media or read newsletters, I want to know what makes people sing and brings them joy, not what makes them boil with rage.

It’s a philosophy I try to stick to with how I conduct myself on the internet. No one needs to hear about how much I despise Trump and Boris. But maybe they need to hear about something that I love, like a record, podcast or dog video. It’s what my newsletter Ten Things is all about.

If Roman had spent those thirty seconds being an enthusiast about something, instead of being a dick, she’d have avoided a tonne of grief. And maybe we would have found something new to love.